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Latest News at Erneto Bertarelli.com |
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| Race 5 |
Okay, okay, okay.....so today was just a bit of an unforeseen bip. Who could have known that the small tear in the sail would explode so quickly and in such a tragic manner. On the brighter side, Emirates Team New Zealand did extremely well to reduce that 250 metres by which they were trailing, to less than 80 meters at the finish line. It certainly goes to show what Kiwis are made of, and how fast our boat can really go.
STOP PRESS... NEWSFLASH.... Speculation is now focused on the cause of the original damage to the Team New Zealand sail. Film footage supplied from a private source appears to show a sniper on the Alinghi foredeck shortly before Team New Zealand's "accident" took place. America's Cup representatives are now reviewing this film footage to attempt to determione whether this was indeed a sniper, or simply Ernie trying out his brand new Rambo outfit - a gift received at a recent birthday party.
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Race 4 |
Yes, today was another "big heart day" from Team New Zealand. With race results standing at a 2 - 1 lead to Emirates Team New Zealand over Alinghi, a decision was made at the TeamNZ base to give Bertie a chance to catch up ...hence today's result!
At the same time rumours have come out of Valencia that Senior Bertarelli has thrown so many of his toys out of the cot about the race being run the day before with those shifting winds, that the Committee had decided to capitalise on this latest merchandising opportunity. As a result an urgent order has been placed with a local manufacturer for 25,000 sets of America's Cup ear-muffs. For only $5 each they are guaranteed to block out any swiss whineing or whinging that takes places within a 25 metre radius.
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| Race 3 |
Well what more can we say about Race 3 that hasn't already been said except that may it's time to get your flippers out Ernesto. A race so exciting that certainly made it worthwhile staying up all night to watch.
The only news we have today is that we are hearing rumours about Brad Butterhead being nominated for an obscure America's Cup related fashion award. The Swiss Yodellers and Digereedoo Association Retirement Fund annually present The Grumpy Frumpy Award to a nominee that has best met their qualifications of the greatest girth, the most colourful language and the most dynamically developed silver/grey highlighted hair style created using a marine product of the nominee's choice (apparently an epoxy based resin is favoured as it really does ensure that you never have a bad hair day, even when the wind reaches 80 knots).
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| Race 2 |
As we congratulate Emirates Team New Zealand on their absolutely inspiring win last night, rumours are surfacing in Valencia that Alinghi are attempting to explain their slower speeds in Race 2 being a result of their afterguard dangling their feet in the water to cool down during the second leg.
While we have been reliably informed that Ernesto has been told in no uncertain terms by Mrs. Bertarelli never to come home with sweaty feet, industry experts say they saw or heard nothing out of the ordinary taking place. We assume this also means that we could well expect more swearing from Brad and sulking from Ernie.
Rumours of new technology..... On a rather more important note, at the after race press conference Alinghi bosses admitted that they intended to use the day off today, to install what they consider to be earth shaking new technology on the boat. The Outboard Accessorised Regulatory System is designed to improve the water speed passing over the outer hull surfaces, however the installation of this new system on either side of the boat, will require the full time attention of at least two of the Alinghi afterguard. It is expected that Brad Butterhead will pay for this morning's loss by being given control of one of the OARS, while Mama Bertarelli has told Ernie to put down that long pointed instrument he insists on playing with on the poopdeck, and do some work on the other. Industry sources indicate that the Outboard Accessorised Regulatory System concept has been tried on previous occasions with minimal success, and the Alinghi camp's intention of patenting it and creating an international storm is hardly likely to happen. |
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| Race 1 |
What big hearts we have...
Last night a gut-wrenching defeat indeed, but as they say in the song..."we've only just begun". Anyway, let's just say that we've got big hearts here in New Zealand, and we prepared to give the other guys a head start.
Go Emirates Team NZ! |
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